Risks I Have Taken

Am I risk averse? Richard wondered.

-Thought, seriously, about becoming a superhero—---part time only, of course.
-Drank from a carton of milk 3 days past its expiration date.
-Slept with Lola when she was armed.
-Quit high school (for 2 days) and ran away to join the circus—but returned after 14 hours "on the road," mainly because I was unable to bear the absence of my pet poodle, “Pesto.”
-Saw Pirates of the Caribbean, Part 1, seven times—because Lola looks like Kira Knightly—only more curvy.
-Enrolled in expensive acting class so I can learn to relate to young actresses and maybe even learn a few tips about stand-up comedy—but this didn’t go so well because I’m not funny (even in the nude, with only one shoe on).